The Doctor's Misdiagnosis

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 21:07:33 GMT

CALLER: Hi, Dr. Laura, I've listened to you a long time. I never thought I'd be calling.

DR. LAURA: No one ever does.

CALLER: I'd like some advice.

DR. LAURA: That's what I'm here for! I'm happy to help. Shoot!

CALLER: OK. We've been together for seven years now. We're as in love as we were the day we met. We complement each other perfectly - intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. And, of course, we're very compatible sexually.

DR. LAURA: Doesn't sound like a problem to me! Seems to me you're a lucky man!

CALLER: No, no, I know, that's not the problem. I'm getting to that.

DR. LAURA: You don't know how many people would love a marriage like yours.

CALLER: Yeah, well, it's not a marriage legally, of course.

DR. LAURA: So get married already! What are you waiting for?

CALLER: For the courts to allow us.

DR. LAURA: So your wife is a man?

CALLER: He's not my wife; he's my partner. And yes, he's a man. What I was wondering was-

DR. LAURA: Drop him!

CALLER: No, that's not the issue. I was going to ask about-

DR. LAURA: Drop him and change! Get out of that relationship, get out of that phase you're going through, and get yourself a woman. Get out now. You're headed for nothing but trouble!

CALLER: Like I said, Dr. Laura, we're very happy together. All I wanted to know was-

DR. LAURA: You cannot be happy as a homosexual. You can't, and that's a fact. You might think you are happy, you might believe you are each pleasing the other, but you are not. You're not! You are a biological mistake, and you are living with another biological mistake. Two mistakes together. Two wrongs do not make a right! It's simple: Man was meant to provide pleasure for woman, and woman for man. Two men or two women…no. Absolutely not. That's nuts. Nuts!

CALLER: Dr. Laura-

DR. LAURA: It's craziness, I tell you. It's not right; it's just not natural. And I know all you people are going to start calling and writing and faxing and E-mailing the way you always do whenever I talk about homosexuals, and you know what? I don't want to here it! It's a perversion. It's perverse! It's loony. And it's not something that we need to sit here and argue about. Normal, intelligent Americans know what I'm talking about. They didn't choose to be gay, because they know it's wrong, and they don't want to talk about it or spend all kinds of time debating about it or even think about it. So that's my answer, and I know you don't like it, but you know what? I don't care. I don't care! Because I know that I'm right, and you know deep down in your heart that I'm right or else you wouldn't have called. It's not even worth arguing about. And I'm sorry, I apologize to my listeners, that they had to listen to this kind of drivel once more instead of hearing about real people with real problems they can relate to. So let's get back to the phones-

CALLER: Dr. Laura, wait-

Click

CALLER: Hi, Laurie. You'll never guess who this is.

DR. LAURA: You know, the voice sounds familiar. But come on, I don't have time for games. You're going to have to help me out here.

CALLER: OK, Laurie, I'll give you a hint. Third grade Brownies…sixth grade Campfire Girls…11th grade double-dating for the junior-senior prom…

DR. LAURA: Allison! Allison who I grew up with! Allison my long-lost best friend! Well, hello, and thanks for calling the Dr. Laura Show! What a wonderful surprise!

CALLER: It's been a long time.

DR. LAURA: Too long!

CALLER: And you know, I've been meaning to call for a long time.

DR. LAURA: You should have!

CALLER: I know, I know, I should have. I was so excited when you first came on the air. "Dr. Laura!" I told all the girls at my spinning class. "I know her! I grew up with her! She was my best friend all through school!"

DR. LAURA: I'll bet you have a great group of friends - and a family?

CALLER: Oh yes, I'll get to that in a sec. So I always meant to call because your advice was so good - so right-on. "That Laurie!" I said to myself. "She's so smart!" And you always were too, you know. You give everyone just the right advice, like you always did during Dodie's slumber parties.

DR. LAURA: Ha!

CALLER: So yeah, I was meaning to call you. And then…well, I don't know how to say this, Laurie, but, I don't know, a couple of thing you've been saying lately, they just don't sound right to me. They don't sound like Laurie.

DR. LAURA: Don't sound right? What do you mean Allie?

CALLER: Well, take what you're saying about gay people. It…some of it just is wrong, Laurie. You're not telling people the truth, and it hurts when I hear it, to think some young boy or girl out there hearing Dr. Laura saying something, and thinking it's true, and-

DR. LAURA: Whoa, whoa! Hold your horses, Allison. What I say about homosexuals is the truth. Now let me ask you this, woman to woman, old friend to old friend: Is there something I should know about you?

CALLER: Not about me, no. I was married - to a man, don't worry - and I've got a wonderful son. He's-

DR. LAURA: Wow, you had me going there for a second! Because I do remember that junior-senior prom, and I didn't want to say anything before, but, well, let's just say, a lot of what I've learned came from watching you and Guy operate in the backseat!

CALLER: Don't remind me about that two-timing rat, please! But no, what I wanted to say-

DR. LAURA: So you're not a homosexual. And you didn't marry one either, did you - ha, ha. Um - did you? Is that why you're no longer married?!

CALLER: Nope. But I-

DR. LAURA: Whew! But yet you called me up just to tell me I was wrong about the homosexuals? I'm sorry, Allie, but this just does not compute. I just don't get it. Can you explain this to me like I'm a 6-year-old: How did you get to be such an expert on the homosexual community? How do you know I'm wrong and you're right? And when you get right down to it, who really cares?

CALLER: Well, all I know is, they don't choose to be gay. I didn't choose to be straight, and they don't choose to be gay. They don't choose to be mocked, or laughed at, or wedgied in gym class, or thrown out of the house by their father when they come out of the closet after years of lies and deceit and torment. And they don't choose to be smacked over the head with two-by-four, or have the windows of their home shot out, or strung up on a fence post and left to die.

DR. LAURA: I agree. No one deserves to have that happen to them. That's going a bit too far. But I also think-

CALLER: No, Laurie, I don't want to hear what you think. I want you to hear what I think. What I know. I want you to hear about my life - my life as a mother of a gay son.

DR: LAURA: The mother of a gay son! Allie, I'm so sorry.

CALLER: You are?

DR. LAURA: Yes!

CALLER: You're sorry for all the things you've said on the air, and written in the paper, and your books?

DR. LAURA: No! No! That's not what I meant. I'm sorry you have a homosexual son. That must be so very, very difficult for you.

CALLER: No! It's not! It's wonderful! I love him! He's my son - he's a great son, how could I not love him? I want to tell you about him. I want to talk about him - him and his power. I want you to know him - really know him - so when you talk or write to millions of people about gays and lesbians you'll know what you're talking about.

DR. LAURA: Allison, I would not do this for just anyone. You know how I feel about homosexuals. But you also know how I feel about you. So yes, I would like to talk to you about your son. But we can't do it on the air. I must get to another caller. But someday soon, let's talk. I want to hear about your life as a mother of a gay son - and I do think it must be very, very difficult, no matter what you say. And then - only because you are such an old friend, you understand - maybe, one day, perhaps I could meet your son.

CALLER: Laurie, you already have.

DR: LAURA: Ha! I don't think so. Allie, hon, how on earth would I have met your son?

CALLER: He called just before me.

Yay

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 01:59:45 GMT

It’s official, I have submitted my application to SUNY Fredonia for the Fall 2006 semester. I’m crossing my fingers I get accepted!

Terri took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feel..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 00:23:35 GMT

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul.
You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have.
Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone.
You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Your Birthdate: August 30

Your birthday on the 30th day of the month shows individual self-expression is necessary for your happiness.
You tend to have a good way of expressing yourself with words, certainly in a manner that is clear and understandable.
You have a good chance of success in fields requiring skill with words.

You can be very dramatic in your presentation and you may be a good actor or a natural mimic.
You have a vivid imagination that can assist you in becoming a good writer or story-teller.
Strong in your opinions, you always tend to think you are on the right side of an issue.

There may be a tendency to scatter your energies and have a lot of loose ends in your work.
You may have significant artistic talent and be very creative.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 00:04:43 GMT

I almost forgot, I got a job at the animal hospital and start tomorrow morning.

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 17:30:43 GMT

Yesterday I got a birthday card from my aunt Marie. It says "Over the rainbow where wishes come true, is where sweet nieces come from -- just like you! And on your birthday, it's the best time to say, How loevely you are in every way"

That's so cute, it made me smile.

Me, Myself, and I

The Doctor's Misdiagnosis

Yay